When posting things for sale on Craigslist…..

I think that if someone actually had the patience to teach a course in “How to take pictures of things you’d like to get rid of on the Internet”, we’d be looking at a cash cow folks. Literally. We could hollow out a heifer and just stuff her full of the loot garnered from this venture.

So, my lovely friend Erin (who is well aware of my fascination with the horror that is CL) points this link out to me this morning. We’ll just assume that she was probably looking for a couch or some kind of furniture deal, since she did manage to flip a couch for a hundred or two in profit that she got off of CL because it wasn’t “as advertised” (note: when you say that it’s clean and it’s covered in animal smell, IT’S NOT CLEAN. Dirty whores.). The ad that was at the end of the link, however, shows several things not right with humans who post on CL.

This is “the offending link itself“.

“Practically brand new sectional, we bought it and found out it did not fit in our living room. We already have other couches. I am asking 300$ for it. Let me know. “

It reads well. So you bought it, it didn’t fit in your living room (which I mean. It’s a sectional. I know math is a declining skill in America these days, but you couldn’t work it out at ALL?), and now you’re trying to off load it. That could be a deal for me. Sweet.

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Well uh. Points on the panorama shot bro. Good thinking ahead for me, so I could get the “full view” of the complete piece. But something just doesn’t seem assembled correctly. Or, could it possibly be the fact you COULDN’T BOTHER TO CLEAN UP BEFORE TAKING PICTURES?? I mean honestly. Oh wait, you included better close up shots of this couch after being introduced into it’s “natural habitat”? Wow, thanks for that.

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Is that a Christmas tree? Are you kidding me? I appreciate your desire to carry the Yule spirit year round. That’s awesome and we really should love each other all the time like we do every December 25. However, it has a box, and it comes apart. You don’t need to just tip it over at the New Year’s Eve rager you throw every year and just leave it where it falls. Props on safety first as well. I notice that you made sure your fake tree was safely seated in the baby seat, and that takes a special sense of “usin’ the old noggin’”. I only hope that your baby is not firmly stuck in the stand that the tree used to occupy. That may be difficult to explain when someone comes to pick up the couch. (This couch also doubles as a coat rack, and a snowboard stand. It serves a THOUSAND purposes!)

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Part of me wants to ask what were you thinking, this couch with that grape juice colored carpet. That’s all your aesthetic though, so I respect that. Could you AT LEAST have gotten your dirty clothes off of my potential new couch? Hoping that you would clean up your random papers and throw away what looks like a Taco Bell sauce pack is a little bit too much, I know. Maybe taken the pillow off as well, although I do dig how it matches your wall color sorta.

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Oh, wow! You just threw the pillow on the floor so I could get a better view of the worn cushion! I appreciate that even doing that, seeing how you left the sauce pack looking refuse in place for integrity. But do I get the yellow thing that’s creeping out from behind the couch too? Or are you going to want to hold onto that?

I would think that if I’m going to try to get $300 out of someone for this clearly not “almost new” couch, that I would put in some effort to clean and make it look nice, including the environment it’s in. This poster might as well have left the fat, sweaty guy laying naked on the couch with a bag of Funyons in one hand while he wiped the other hand on the side between sections.

This is truly, truly, an example of how society has degraded folks. I so hope this is the worst of it today.

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2 comments on “When posting things for sale on Craigslist…..

  1. Diane Kokko says:

    I laughed when you pointed out the Taco Bell sauce pack on the cushion! And yes, I did actually snort when reading about the baby in the tree stand. Love it!

  2. vitamin says:

    This is exactly the thing I’ve been searching for! Superb and thanks!

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